


Let Me Be Your Safe Place

by BluMoonGoddess216



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: And the assault details are not of my own experience just thought i should add that, Angst, Anxiety Issues, Deep character change, Drug Use, F/M, I am a survivor of assault myself, It is not described in detail but is referenced several times, Revenge, Slow Burn, Smut, Some POV shifts, Someone is gonna turn to the dark side, Talk of a past sexual assault, no fluff here, people gonna die, scenes of abuse, working out some personal demons hereguys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:27:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22103311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BluMoonGoddess216/pseuds/BluMoonGoddess216
Summary: Of all the random cabins in Hope County, he had to find yours...
Relationships: Jacob Seed/Reader
Comments: 27
Kudos: 117
Collections: Far Cry 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jacrispea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacrispea/gifts).



> I started writing this in the summer time after @Jacrispea made me fall in love with Jacob in her writing. I used this (and a lot of therapy) to cope with some past traumas. So please enjoy my obvious self-insert here.

It had been almost a month since you’d had human contact and you wished it had stayed that way. Your single room cabin was well hidden away from the main road and from any unwanted intruders. At least, that was what you had wanted.

Solitude.

People, in general, made you uncomfortable and large crowds were completely out of the question. That’s what had drawn you to Hope County. It was so far removed from the rest of the world that you could just blend into the scenery. You could truly be alone for extended periods of time and you found a sense of peace.

It had been five years since you had settled into your modest little life. Five years since your life had been forever changed.

Five years since the night you had become a statistic.

No one in Hope County knew much about you other than your name and face. You strived to maintain that anonymity on the rare occasion that you would venture around people for supplies. Always polite and cordial though, you didn’t want to make waves, just wanted to be left alone. Kept any and all small talk short and vague enough to keep your secret safe. Going as far as using a false name.

You had become someone else and you couldn’t look back.

Your old self had died that night five years ago.

\-----

The brisk night air surrounded you as you lounged on the front porch. The sun had set and darkness was quickly falling around you. A strong, cool breeze caressed your exposed arms and signaled it was time to retire for the night.

As you stood from your chair, you heard a loud gunshot. Not unusual for this area, but it sounded much closer than anything you had heard before and a much higher caliber than what was necessary for hunting. The idiot had to have scared off any animal within a miles radius with that loud cannon. Their loss, you thought as you made your way to your front door. As you hand touched the knob, you heard automatic weapon fire.

That was new.

You hastily entered the cabin and secured the three locks on the door. Most people bragged about not locking their doors in Hope County because they felt so safe. But not you. Three locks, bars on the windows that were nailed shut, and a plethora of weapons were scattered throughout your tiny home. You never felt safe anymore.

The gunfire so close to you only solidifying your fears.

Moving quickly, you dimmed your lights and grabbed the 12 gauge pistol grip shotgun from it’s resting place next to your door. You held your breath listening to the sounds outside. More gunfire but it was getting even closer now.

This wasn't some idiot on a night hunt, this was something else completely.

Your hands trembled around the weapon they held. You weren’t afraid to use it though. You would go down fighting if need be. You wouldn’t hesitate to shoot if you felt threatened. You wouldn’t go through that trauma again. Death being the better alternative in your eyes.

The towering figure emerged from the woods, heading straight for your cabin. You readied the shotgun to your shoulder, aiming at the door to the outside world. You wouldn’t be weak this time.

The heavy footsteps on the porch rumbled through the cabin as the mountain of a man crashed into your door with a loud bang. His large frame filled the doorway completely. In the darkness, you could make out a fatigue jacket and fire for hair. His hand clutched over his shoulder, you thought you saw blood staining the cloth.

“Let me in.” It wasn’t a request but a demand. The man’s voice low and husky.

“Whoever you are, get the fuck away from my house.” Your gun firmly aimed at the center of the man’s broad chest.

“I’ve been shot.”

“And how is that my problem, exactly?”

“Open the door or I will.” Another command.

“Go ahead and try.” You didn’t move.

The clouds covering the moon moved, illuminating the figure at your door. Massive was your first thought, you second was that he had the most beautiful blue eyes you had ever seen. Even in the moonlight, they were piercing. You almost lost yourself in them but quickly came to your senses.

“Please.” hissed through clenched teeth. The desperation in his eyes pulled at your cold heart. It was the first time you had felt anything besides contempt for a man since that night. Your head was swimming in confusion but something inside you urged you to open the door to this stranger. As if on autopilot, you moved to the door and unlocked the three locks, letting this strange man into your sanctuary.

You didn’t put your weapon down as the cumbersome man stumbled into the room, slamming and locking the door behind him.

“Bathroom.”

You nodded over your shoulder to the only other door in the place keeping your gun firmly aimed at him. He barreled past you slamming the door behind him.

You stood in shock at what you had just done. Letting an injured stranger into your home was the dumbest thing you had ever done.

You heard some crashing and swearing in your bathroom. You obviously didn’t have the supplies to treat a gunshot wound on hand, but you knew enough to help. You retrieved your medkit you kept in your nightstand and knocked on the door. There was no response.

Pushing the door open, you saw the man slumped on the toilet struggling to stay conscious from blood loss.

“Hey, hey, hey, wake up!” You slapped at his face, getting his eyes to open. “You need to stay awake.”

His eyes were starting to glaze over, you needed to stop the bleeding now. Instincts took over and you reached to remove his jacket and shirt. A strong, calloused hand caught your wrist and it was then that you noticed the deep scarring run up his arms.

“No.” He wheezed out his feeble attempt at protest.

“I need to see how bad it is and that requires your shirt to come off. So either you let go of me and do as I say, or I toss your ass outside for the wolves to dine on. Your call.” You were never one to sugar coat things.

His glassy eyes searched over your delicate features. “Fine,” he grunted, releasing his death grip on your wrist.

Moving swiftly, his jacket and shirt were promptly on the ground. Inspecting the wound, the stranger had lucked out and the bullet was a through and through. You set to work cleaning the wounds and stemming the bleeding. You had a basic knowledge of wound care from being alone for so long, though you had never had to deal with a gunshot wound, you knew that getting the bleeding under control was your first concern.

Some grumbled curse words and several large groans later, the wound was as good as you could do with what you had.

Once you were satisfied with your work, you got your first real look at the man whose life you had just saved. His face wasn’t familiar, it would have been hard to forget someone like him. Between the intense eyes, the formidable stature, and scarring running up his arms onto his immense chest, you could safely say you hadn’t seen him around before.

The loud banging at your front door brought you out of your trance.

“Fuck.” The man tried to stand but you stopped him, pushing him down to the toilet seat.

“Shut up,” you whispered, “Maybe they will just go away.” Several tense seconds passed before another loud bang echoed through the tiny space.

The man gripped your wrist once more, “Lie.”

Your gaze fell to the man still slumped on your toilet, his blue eyes drilling down to your soul. You gave a slight nod of acknowledgment and exited the bathroom.

You tried to call yourself as you made your way to the front door. You could make out two shadowy figures on the other side of the entrance. You flicked on your porch light, greeted by two somewhat familiar faces.

“Eli, right?” you asked the scruffy man in front, “And...Wheaty, yeah?” You nodded to the young boy behind him.

Both men nodded yes to your inquiry.

“And you’re…” the scruffy man hesitated and fumbled searching his mind for your name.

“It’s Serena,” you spared him the embarrassment of forgetting your name.

“Yes, right, Serena.” He drew in a deep breathe. “Sorry to bother you so late, but we are looking for someone and his trail lead us here.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat, thinking quickly, “Oh yeah, you mean that huge lumberjack looking fuck? He passed by not long ago demanding I let him in but I told him to fuck off and leave. He looked pretty messed up.”

Eli looked you up and down.

“What’s with all the blood then?” He gestured to your blood-stained clothing and hands.

“Oh, ya know, just some late-night cleaning,” you said pointing to the strung up deer skin off the side of the house. Thankfully, you had gone hunting earlier that day.

Eli and Wheaty looked to one another, Wheaty giving Eli a small shrug.

“Alright then. Which way did he go?”

“I think he went east,” you answered pointing the way.

“Ok,” Eli heaved a heavy sigh, “Be on the alert tonight. That guy is dangerous.”

“Nothing I can’t handle,” you said as you lifted the shotgun from it’s resting place beside the door.

“Glad to hear that. Good night. And sorry again for bothering you so late.”

“No problem. I hope you catch up to that crazy guy before he hurts someone.”

You didn’t breathe until both men had dipped from your sight.

“Oh, sweet Jesus!” You mumbled under your breath as you made your way to the bathroom.

\-----

“Lumberjack looking fuck, huh?”

You were straining to lift the mammoth of a man before you. Once you had him standing and his arm slung over your shoulder you answered.

“It was the first thing that came to mind. Now walk, I can’t support all of you.” You said curtly.

You slowly lead the man to the bed in the corner of the room. It being only you out there and never planning for company, it was only a full-size bed. Barely big enough for the giant at your side, let alone the both of you. Tonight he could rest up in the bed and you would take the couch. You would figure everything else out in the morning.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The past sexual assualt is talked about in this chapter. I don't go into graphic detail, but it is discussed. Please take care of yourself if you may find this triggering.

It was always the same nightmare. Flashes of that night. You would give anything to forget it but it was burned into your soul. 

His hot breath against your face. The clammy hand pressed firmly to your mouth, muffling any cry for help. The feeling of your clothes being ripped from your body. The feeling of utter helplessness.

You woke up screaming, just as you always did, trying to claw the image from your mind and ripping at your skin that felt tainted. Tears poured from your eyes. Your breaths were short and ragged, sweat covering your body.

Through your haze, you felt two firm hands planted on your shoulders. You let out a yelp of ‘No” while recoiling back from their embrace.

“Shh, shh, you’re safe. You’re safe and in your own home.”

Through foggy eyes, you began to focus on the man in front of you. The lumberjack fuck. His eyes were full of concern. Shaking the fog from your mind, he released his hold on you.

A whirlwind of emotions surged through you, overwhelming every fiber of your being. Before you could think, you heaved your tiny frame at the man, landing in his lap with your arms wrapped around him. You buried your face into his neck and continued sobbing. 

He didn’t return your affections right away, taken off guard by your sudden closeness, his arms splayed out to his sides in the air unsure of what to do. After a few awkward moments, you felt his arms close around you tightly. His warmth calmed you in a way you had never felt before. He held you like that for some time, before standing and carrying you to your bed. He somehow managed to fit you both onto the small bed comfortably. You in the fetal position encircled by his safe arms, him on his side. 

Silence hung heavy in the room, but you were able to fall back to sleep not long after.

\-----

Morning had come too quickly. 

The few hours you spent in the man's arms had been the most restful sleep you’d had in some time.

Your eyes fluttered open and fell upon the still bare chest beneath you. Remembering the events of the previous night, you flushed with embarrassment. Your night terrors were part of the reason for your solitude. They were out of your control and you hated showing any signs of weakness like that. You preferred being alone than trying to explain you wake up in the middle of the night freaking out sometimes.

You had become entwined with the man, legs wrapping together and his strong arms still holding you. A feeling that had long since been forgotten by you began to creep over you. 

Safe.

You felt safe in that moment. You felt safe being in his arms. Before you could fully process this foreign feeling, the man began to stir. His secure hold on you loosening. You would have given anything to stay in that moment forever.

“You ok now?” A gruff voice spoke.

“Yeah,” you answered meekly as you slipped from the safe haven of your bed. The morning air was cool as you made your way to the small kitchen area. Your hands trembled slightly as you set to work making your morning coffee. Desperately trying to find any semblance of normalcy in this chaotic situation. 

A grunt escaped his mouth as he tried to move his wounded shoulder.

“Let me see,” you moved to his side and began inspecting your handy work. “I did what I could but we still need to get you to someone who knows what they’re doing.” You pressed the bandaging back down into place. “Where do you need to go?”

“North.” was all the response you got from him.

“What’s your name?”

“Jacob.” 

“A man of few words, I see.” You let a small laugh leave your lips as you moved back to your task of morning coffee. 

“I hope you take it black,” you said holding a cup out to him and sipping on your own.

He rustled up to lean back against the wall taking the cup from your hands. His sapphire eyes never leaving yours, he took a drink.

“What are your night terrors from?” he asked in a monotone voice.

Your breath hitched as you tried not to spill the hot black liquid at your lips. A shaky hand bringing the cup away.

“What are all those scars from?” you asked sharply, pointing to his chest. 

“I asked you first,” that demand in his voice again.

You let out a frustrated sigh, no one in Hope County knew the first thing about you and you planned to keep it that way.

“A terrible thing from another life.” You narrowed your eyes at him.

“Same, then.” He lifted his mug in a mock cheers fashion before bringing the cup to his lips. 

Man of few words indeed.

\-----

Jacob couldn’t wrap his head around what he was feeling. That first sight of you, gun aimed and ready was seared into his mind. You looked like Athena, a goddess ready to fight, to defend, to survive no matter the cost. The fire behind your eyes left him reeling. He instantly wanted you to be his. To be at his side. To be his equal. 

But what could a goddess want with a broken-down old man? Especially one as marred as him. 

When you had thrown yourself into his arms, he was taken with disbelief. He couldn’t remember the last time he was held like that. He cherished the moment. Having you in his arms was the only peace he had known in ages. He would give anything to hold onto that feeling. 

He only felt whole when he had something to protect. And he knew that you were it.

Sleeping with you in his arms had been the most restful sleep he’d had in years. He had wished morning to never come.

Now, seeing you in the golden rays of morning light, you were even more captivating. The way you moved, the way that you carried yourself, your confidence, everything about you enchanted him. He needed to know every little detail about you. Had to know what made you tick.

\-----

“Do you have a radio around?” Jacob scanned your small living quarters.

“I don’t actually. No cell phone either. I don’t have anyone worth contacting anyway.” You set to work washing the coffee mugs. “Not many people even know I’m out here and I plan to keep it that way. I don’t like people. People can do fucked up things.” You placed the cleaned mugs back in the cabinet trying to shake the gross feelings washing over you.

“Who hurt you?” 

Jacob’s question caught you completely off guard. You struggled to find the right words. You hadn’t spoken about it in so long, choosing to stuff it down into the deep recesses of your subconscious rather than deal with it head-on.

“That’s none of your concern,” your short tone signaled the end of the conversation as far as you were concerned. Your hands gripped the edge of the sink, knuckles turning white at the strain. You sharply inhaled trying to ground yourself. 

Jacob stood from his position on the couch and made his way to you in the small space. 

”I’m making it my concern. Who hurt you?”

“I don’t want to talk about it. I want you to leave. Now.” You fought back the tears that longed to spill from your eyes. You had promised yourself no more crying over it. No more weakness. 

And how dare this stranger come into your home and make any demands of you. Your trauma was none of his business. You didn’t need any saving. You weren’t in need of any ‘fixing’.

Jacob marched over and slung his red eyesore of a rifle over his shoulder. His steps back to you rumbled through your tiny sanctuary. You refused to open your eyes even as you felt him behind you. He was inches from you but didn’t touch you. 

“You talk in your sleep, ya know?” He waited for you to respond or react and when none came he leaned in to whisper in your ear.

“Any man who does such despicable things needs to be culled. And I cull the herd. It’s what I do.”He placed his hands on either side of the counter, trapping you in place. But you felt no fear. 

Your eyes shot open and you spun in place to face him with your back now to the sink. He was so close you could feel his breath on your lips. Under normal circumstances, you would have been triggered by this, falling into a shaky mess on the floor, but you didn’t. You didn’t feel a threat from the large stranger holding you in place.

“And what does that mean, exactly?” You hoped he didn’t see the tears waiting to fall from your eyes.

A small devious grin slid across his lips and there was a fire in his gaze. He calmly released the counter and stood erect, towering over you.

“It’s easier if I just show you. C’mon.” He gestured toward the door moving to the side and making a path for you to lead. 

You quickly mulled it over in your head. Who was this mysterious man in front of you? Why had the powers that be brought him into your little world? His words had stirred something in you, though. A burning curiosity to know this man in front of you. And to know what he meant by those eerie words rasped into your ear.

“I have to get something first.” You crossed the room to your nightstand, pulling the thigh holster from its place in the top drawer. You strapped it to your right thigh before making your way to your bed and pulling the 9mm pistol out from under the pillow. After inspecting it quickly, you strapped it into place on your thigh.

As you walked to your front door, Jacob’s only reaction was that of a raised brow and a smirk that left you with knots in your stomach.

‘Atta girl’ he thought to himself.


	3. Chapter 3

Jacob led you west through the trees. The early morning sun was already warming the air around you and soon you would be sweating bullets. You cursed yourself for not changing before leaving the house. Not only were you wearing jeans and a long-sleeve flannel, but you were also still covered in Jacob’s blood, not exactly the best thing for a warm Montana day.

After a mile or so, you came to a clearing with an old white pick-up truck with an odd cross symbol painted on it. Jacob made quick work of unlocking the doors and storing his red rifle in the bed of the truck. He wasted no time jumping into the driver’s seat and firing the engine up. Your hand wrapped around the door handle but you paused before climbing into the cab.

“What were you doing out here last night? There isn’t anything within a three-mile radius of my place.”

Jacob clenched the steering wheel a little tighter. 

“I was looking for something.”

“There’s nothing to look for out here.”

“Maybe nothing to you, but there is a lot going on in these woods that you don’t know about.” 

“Oh, that’s comforting.” You hauled yourself into the cab of the truck.

\-----

Your voluntary solitude has robbed you from experiencing all Hope County had to offer. The scenery was picturesque, trees everywhere, bodies of clean water abounded, and the wildlife flourished. Jacob stayed far from the main roads keeping to dirt roads and ATV trails. It gave you a chance to appreciate the beauty around you.

You didn’t even know the St. Francis Veteran’s Center existed until Jacob pulled in to the gates. Jacob honked the horn announcing his arrival. Several people came running over to assist as you both slid from the truck. The people seemed to flock around him, bombarding him with their welcomes and questions.  
“We were worried the deputy got you!”

“Brother Jacob!”

“Whose blood is on you?!?”

“Who’s the girl?”

Jacob only responded to the last one.

“She’s with me.” A slight smile crossing his lips. He slung his rifle over his good shoulder and began marching for the front door. “Coming?” he asked with barely a glance over his shoulder at you. Flustered, you picked up your feet and followed him up the stairs. 

Through the winding halls and stairs, Jacob didn’t have a moment to himself. The people he passed offered words of praise and welcomes, some asked for orders on how to proceed with things, others asking if he had found a place called The Wolf’s Den. He waved each of them away without a word. 

Suddenly being thrown into a situation with so many people and voices began to overwhelm you. You felt the tightness in your chest, your heart was racing, and the ringing in your ears had begun. Of all the times for a fucking panic attack, it had to be now. 

Jacob, being the only somewhat familiar thing around you in this strange scene, you caught his forearm in your hands and moved to be close to him. Almost trying to hide behind him. He looked down to your hands wrapped around his arm and his heart skipped a beat. His eyes moved to meet with yours and he recognized the look in them. A trapped animal looking for any way out. 

He leaned down and whispered only to you, “We’re almost at my office.” 

You gave a frail nod of acknowledgment. 

His pace quickened and you stayed in step with his long strides. You bounded up one last staircase, stopping in front of the door at the end of the hallway. You looked behind you and noticed that no one had followed up to this level and you let out a sigh of relief. It was quiet again.

Jacob opened the door to his office. It was a large room furnished with an ornate wooden desk covered in paperwork, maps of the county, and some pictures of the locals. In the corner was a military cot that seemed like it didn’t get much use. The chair at the desk had seen better days though, worn and frayed at the seams. 

Once you crossed the threshold, you released your hold on Jacob and took several deep breaths trying to stave off the panic threatening to overtake you. You tried to slow your thoughts, your mind always becoming a jumbled mess in these moments. 

“You weren’t kidding when you said you don’t like people.” Jacob’s subtle dig drew a faint laugh from you.

“Like I said, I do the lone wolf thing way better.” 

As the quiet settled around you, your breathing began to return to normal and your body trembles began to disappear. Once you had settled back into yourself, you really began to take in your surroundings. 

This wasn’t just Jacob’s office, it was a war room. The walls were covered in newspaper clippings, maps ontop of other maps, lines of string leading around to pictures of familiar faces. What had you gotten yourself into?

Jacob had removed his rifle and placed it on the mantel above the cot. He reached for the radio perched on the desk and ordered that a doctor be sent up immediately. 

“Yes, sir. Right away, sir!” The voice on the other end sounded terrified of the man standing before you.

The doctor was in and out quickly. Even complimenting you on your resourcefulness in treating Jacob’s wound and for saving his life. 

“So, did I miss something?” 

Jacob looked up from his place at his desk.

“How’s that?” He asked with a raised brow.

“Well, for starters, these people treat you like you’re the second coming of Christ, you have an on-call doctor who didn’t bat an eye at you being shot, and your living area looks straight out of a war movie. What gives?” You narrowed your eyes at him. 

“Well,” he let out a low chuckle, “It’s all part of the plan, really.”

“And what plan is that, exactly?”

You sat in stunned silence as Jacob gave you the rundown of what The Project at Eden’s Gate was all about. From his brother Joseph’s visions, John’s obsession with the word ‘Yes’, and Faith’s ability to manipulate people’s minds in a place called The Bliss. He spoke about their roles in the grand scheme of things. That all they truly wanted to do was save people. But the locals didn’t see it that way. Things had been getting more chaotic with each passing day. He was building an army of trained soldiers to fight back against The Whitetail Militia, something that the locals had scrounged together. Things had really heated up when some local sheriffs and a lone US marshal had come to arrest Joseph on what Jacob called ‘bogus charges’. The Project was now under attack.

“So, wait a sec,” you shifted in your chair, “You guys are rolling with ‘The end justifies the means’ kinda thing then?”

Jacob thought for a moment.

“Well, yeah. To put it simply, I guess so.”

You sat back in your chair and tried to process everything Jacob just told you. You actually surprised yourself with how unaffected you were. The was a literal Holy War raging around you and you’d been oblivious to it.

“So, you’re in charge of training soldiers?”

“Yes.”

“John makes people confess and Faith gets people drugged up?”

“Yes.”

“And Joseph, he hears the voice of God?”

“Yes.”

“Ok, just wanted to make sure I had everything right.” You had heard crazy before, but this one took the cake. “So I’ve got my own beliefs on religion that I’m not in the market to change. So thanks but no thanks in that department, ok?” 

You paused, making sure he understood, and after his nod of acknowledgment you continued.

“And I may be self-sufficient, but I’m no soldier of God or anything. So why did you bring me here and tell me all of this?”

\-----

Jacob leaned back in his chair, carefully considering his next words. He knew this was his make or break moment. His response would go one of two ways. You would see the way and stand by his side or you would leave and never want to see him again. He didn’t want to think of the latter.

\-----

“I want you to see the potential you have inside. To harness all that rage and fear coursing through your veins and turn it into strength. I want you to take back your life… Take back your power… And most of all, I want to see you walk through Eden’s Gate.”

The air hung heavy in the room as Jacob awaited your response. You let his words dance around in your head. It all sounded like a storyline from a bad B movie from the 80s. A devote religious sect trying to save the world from an apocalypse. Something so far out there that it couldn’t be true, could it? 

And, if it was? 

You knew that, eventually, you would have to pick a side to fight for. You can’t exactly be a conscientious objector in an unsanctioned guerilla warfare area. You would be faced with the choice sooner or later.

Your mind quickly fell to the feeling of safety you had in Jacob’s arms the night before. The feeling that had long been absent from your life. If you were going to fight, you wanted to be next to someone who you thought could protect you. And if anyone could, it was Jacob. The man had taken a gunshot wound like it was nothing.

“Sure. Fuck it. Why not? I don’t have anything going on at the moment.” you said in such a casual tone that it took Jacob by surprise. It was like you were ordering a coffee, not like you had just turned your life over to a complete stranger. 

“Just like that, huh?” He sounded genuinely stunned by your response to join his crusade.

“I mean, yeah, just like that,” You let a small smile cross your lips, “But I do have one demand. I can leave whenever I want and go back to my life of solitude if I want.”

“Understood.” Jacob’s eyes beamed with excitement.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The past sexual assualt is talked about in this chapter. I don't go into graphic detail, but it is discussed. Please take care of yourself if you may find this triggering.

Jacob insisted on giving you a personal tour of the veterans center. The sprawling estate was alive and buzzing with activity as he led you around. There were practice drills going on, a shooting range somewhere down the way was getting a lot of use, and various other activities scattered over the property.

You watched Jacob as he waded through the endless amounts of people demanding his attention. But his focus was solely on you. Every other interaction was short and to the point. No small talk, no extra details, he would wave away everyone quickly once their business was done.

But with you, the man never seemed to shut up. The conviction in his words, the stressed tone of his voice, you felt his dedication to the whole situation. It was truly awe-inspiring. You could sense that he wasn’t as onboard with the theological aspect of his brother’s crusade, but fit right into the prepping for the end of the world side of the equation. You felt you get down with that too. You would just drown out all the religious hoopla.

The last twenty-four hours had been draining and you couldn’t hold back the yawn that left you even more tired. You shifted in your chair as you felt your body plead with you for rest. You hadn’t had this much excitement in a very long time.

Jacob sat at his desk talking over orders with one of his subordinates. You didn’t understand all the verbiage they were using but felt you understood the gist of the conversation. It sounded somewhat serious in tone. Jacob waved them away when he was finished and they quickly exited the room.

“Ya know,” you started once the other person was out of the room, “You haven’t asked me my name yet.”

“I heard it last night when you were talking with that imbecile, Eli.” Jacob didn’t look at you as he rustled through the papers on his desk.

“Oh, right. Didn’t know if you were still conscious for that,” you quipped with a sly smile. You raised your arms high above your head into a much-needed stretch. The hem of your flannel shirt rising just above the waistband of your jeans. You let out a soft moan as you arched and popped your back several times. As you brought your arms back down your sight caught Jacob swallowing the lump in his throat with his eyes glued to your form. There was something… feral about the way he looked at you. Like he would devour you whole in an instant if he could. A surge of warmth spread through your body, like a spark to a long extinguished flame.

\-----

Jacob finally broke free of his trance, shaking his head slightly and adverting his gaze, “If you’re tired, the room across the hall is free.”

He chastised himself for not being in more control. Why, in God’s name, was a sliver of skin and the delicate moan that left your lips driving him mad?!? He was a grown man, not some horny teenager who had never seen a woman naked before.

 _‘Get it together, old man…’_ he thought to himself.

\-----

“About that,” you fiddled with the holster on your thigh, “I didn’t bring anything with me. I mean, like, I still have your blood on me. And I wasn’t planning for a sleepover so I need to go home, pack some shit, and lock everything up.”

“Understood. I’ll have one of my men drive you.” Jacob reached for the radio perched on his desk.

“That’s the thing,” you reached out your hand to stop him from picking up the radio, “Three men now know where I live and that is three too many.”

“Two men and a boy.” Jacob corrected you, leaning back in his weathered chair. He was right though, Wheaty was _only_ a boy. Maybe sixteen or seventeen, at the most. Just a child, really.

“Right. So as far as I see it, we have two options. Either you can play chauffeur and drive me back, or I can go on a little night hike and come back in the morning.”

“You going alone is out of the question.” Jacob rumbled as the words came out terser than he had wanted them to.

“Well then, it seems we have our answer, Mr. Chaffeur. Why don’t you pull the car around and we will go for a little night drive.” A pretentious smile crossed your lips as you did your best to impersonate someone who would have a hired driver.

Jacob watched your childish attempt and had to restrain the smile that wanted to happen. He stood from his place at the desk and grabbed the keys from his front pocket.

“You’re going to be a pain in my ass, aren’t you?”

“You’ll learn to love it!” You answered with a wink and a smile.

\-----

The air was cool and crisp as you made your way to the old beat-up truck waiting outside. The sky sparkled with the endless amount of stars above. Not one cloud in the sky as you made your way back to your little sanctuary.

Jacob was able to find your cabin easily, only asking for a few general directions. As the headlights illuminated your front door you let out a sigh of relief.

“You have ten minutes.” Jacob shut off the truck and killed the lights, but made no movement to leave the cab.

You shimmied out of the cab, closing the door and speaking through the open window.

“Fat chance, Lumberjack. It’ll be better if you just come and wait for me inside.” Without waiting for his response, you turned tail and began to head for your door.

Lavender had been your favorite scent since high school. As you released the last lock on your door, you were greeted by the fragrance filling your nose and bringing you a sense of calm.

As your fingers flipped the light switch, you beamed at the sight of your tiny haven. You set to work packing for your extended stay at the center.

“So what all do I need to bring with me?” You pulled some clothes from your dresser and threw them towards the bag on your bed.

Jacob had made himself comfortable on the couch. Arms sprawled across the back almost touching each end. “Clothes and any weapons you prefer. We have toiletries and such back at the center.”

You made quick work of grabbing your favorite clothes and the plethora of hidden weapons around the cabin. When you were all said and done, you had twenty-two weapons laid out, including the 12 gauge by the door and the pistol strapped to your thigh.

“And you’re trying to tell me, you weren’t prepping for the end with this little arsenal?” Jacob seemed impressed by your little collection.

You let out a laugh. “No. It’s called being a woman and living by yourself in the middle of nowhere. Safety first, right?” You smiled over your shoulder at him. As your eyes met his, a sly smile crossed his lips. There was something else in that smile. Something that made the knots in your stomach do backflips. Something warm and pure.

It had been so long since you had felt anything for a man besides disgust. You honestly didn’t know how to process it at that moment. You could feel the fluster threatening to take over and quickly changed the subject.

“How about a drink?” You moved swiftly to the cabinet above your sink. “I know I could use one after the last twenty-four hours!” Your hand found the bottle of whiskey in the back. Hearing no objections, you made your way to the couch, sitting just close enough to him.

As the bottle hit your lips and the warm liquid flowed down your throat a sense of calm came over you. Alcohol was one of the few ways you had to calm yourself. Being alone for long periods of time was exactly what you wanted but it still took its toll on you. And on the nights you couldn’t sleep from the nightmares a few heavy swigs from the bottle could remedy that rather quickly.

You tilted the bottle offering it to your new friend. He took it without hesitation and after three large pulls, he’d finished off a third of the bottle.

“Hey, save some for me, ass!” You grabbed the bottle from his hands and brought it to your lips, taking a longer pull this time and hissing at the burning in your chest. You two continued on like this until the bottle was completely empty, chatting into the late hours. You talked about everything when you were drunk. Sometimes commanding the entire conversation. Jacob just watched you with admiration and the occasional smile or nod of encouragement. You didn’t even think when you retrieved the second bottle. This time plopping down right next to him and tucking yourself under his arm.

Halfway through the conversation things became a bit more complicated then some friendly small talk.

“And everything was going great for me…” your eyes began to burn, “Well, until that night, I guess. Everything changed after that.”

Jacob reached for the bottle dangling from one of your hands, placing it on the table. A strong, calloused hand on your cheek bringing your eyes to his.

“Tell me what happened.” Spoken in such a soft, genuine tone that you didn’t think such a large, intimidating man could muster.

An uncomfortable nervous laugh left your mouth.

“Not much to tell, really.” You shifted under his arm, brushing the tears from your face. “Someone I trusted did something horrible to me and the justice system failed me. Simple as that.” You curled yourself into a ball as you felt Jacob pull you closer. You nuzzled into his chest and let the tears quietly fall. The alcohol making it easier to open up.

“I did what I was supposed to,” pain dripping in your voice, “I reported it, I did the rape kit. I testified in front of a room full of strangers reliving the single worst night of my life over and over in graphic detail. And that piece of shit still walked!”

You had bottled up all these feelings refusing to deal with them and now you were falling apart. You were falling apart because you finally felt safe after all that time. Safe, there in his arms.

You struggled to compose yourself and get your emotions under control. You could feel Jacob’s chest heave with every breath and his grip tighten around you. Through gritted teeth, he spoke.

“Tell me his name.”

You could feel the rage boiling in his voice.

You hadn’t spoken the monster’s name since coming to Hope County, just the thought of it making you sick, but as the name rolled off your tongue, you felt a weight lift from you. The burden of this secret was no longer only yours to carry. You weren’t alone anymore.

Jacob gently brushed the last tears from your eyes. As he surveyed your delicate face, he wondered how someone could do something so horrible to a goddess like you. What he wouldn’t give to crush the monster’s skull in with his bare hands. To watch as the life faded from their eyes. He wanted to give you the justice that you deserved. The justice that was ripped from your hands.

You stayed there, in that moment, for what felt like an eternity. Searching each other for answers that neither of you knew the question to. You were everything and nothing to each other in that fraction of time. The feelings stirring in you were so foreign and scary. The embers of a long extinguished fire were igniting once more, like the phoenix rising from her ashes. You flushed as you were consumed by the feeling you’d been repressing for years now.

Desire.

Feeling the intensity of the moment, you broke free of his embrace, “I need… I need to finish packing…” you stumbled trying to get to your feet. You didn’t realize how drunk you were until you stood up, almost toppling over the table with the empty bottles on it. Always the graceful one.

“Did I do something wrong?” Jacob jumped to his feet, words brimming with confusion and concern.

“No, no, no, no! I just…” you heaved a large sigh, “I just don’t know what to do with how I’m feeling.” You wrapped your self in a tight embrace as you swayed in place slightly.

Jacob stood from the couch and with his own slight sway, planted himself in front of you, his tender fingers lifting your chin to meet his gaze.

“You can get through this. I told you, I can see how strong you are.” words barely above a whisper.

“I’m not talking about that.” You closed your eyes and bit at your bottom lip trying to find the right words. “I mean, I’m struggling with my feelings for you.”


	5. Chapter 5

Jacob battled against the tremble in his hand at your words, trying to contain his own emotions. Were you really saying what he thought you were? Was there a chance that you saw in him in the same light he saw you? He prepared himself to ask the question to which he feared the answer most. 

“And what do you feel...for me?” 

You opened your eyes to see the beautiful man in front of you. His beauty wasn’t just in the way he looked, but in the way you felt around him. Safety. Like nothing could ever hurt you as long as you were by his side. You never wanted to lose that feeling again.

“Something I never thought I could again,” your teeth threatened to prick through your lip as you clamped down on it.

“I want you, Jacob.” Your voice a rough growl. Primal.

It felt like someone had just punched Jacob in the gut the way the air left his lungs. His heart hammered away at his ribs feeling like it could burst from his chest at any moment, like a scene from Alien. But just as quickly as he felt a rush of adrenaline, he spotted the empty bottles of whiskey on the table next to you. His heart fell at once. You were drunk. That’s all this was. 

Jacob let out a languished sigh and removed his hand from your chin. 

“That’s just the whiskey talking.” You saw the pain in his eyes before he turned from you. 

“No, it’s really not.” You reached for his hand, spinning him back to face you. You moved to close the space between you. Your bodies collided roughly with a thud. Your free hand wrapped around the back of his neck, and as you stood on your tiptoes, your lips crashed into his. 

Jacob’s lips were soft and hesitant, but as they touched yours, the world felt right again. His strong hands found your waist pulling you even closer, threatening to meld you into one being. He was tentative. Treating you as if you would break at his touch. But that wasn’t what you wanted right now. 

With the alcohol loosening your inhibitions, you reached for his jacket and shirt trying to pry them from his skin. You wanted more. To feel his hands all over your body. To touch his bare skin to yours, to let him take you, all of you, to feel that connection with someone again.

But just as your hands tried to remove his clothes, Jacob stopped. He pressed his forehead to yours as you whined for him to continue.

“Not when you’ve been drinking,” his voice ragged with want.

“Stay here with me tonight and I’ll tell you the same thing in the morning when I’m sober,” you panted out still clinging to him. 

“We’ll see.”

\-----

The morning rays of light began to dance around and the birds outside began to sing their songs. Your eyes fluttered open, greeting you with the sight of your still sleeping Lumberjack. His chest rising and falling with each breath. He looked peaceful.

You were curled under his arm, legs entwined, and your head gently resting on his chest. Your delicate hand reached up tracing the line of his jaw as his beard hair tickled your fingertips. Jacob sharply inhaled and his gaze instantly fell to you. His hand cupped yours to his cheek as you both searched each other’s eyes. Smiles tugged at both of your mouths.

“Jacob! Sir!” The radio on the table screamed to life. 

“That sounds important.” Jacob quickly untangled from you and grabbed the radio to his lips. 

“Go ahead.”

“Sir! We got him! We captured the deputy! What do you want us to do with him?”

“Throw him in a cage and I’ll be there shortly.” His words were cold and hollow. 

“We have to go. Now.”

\-----

There was only silence on the trip back to the center. With only a few words, Jacob’s entire being changed from the caring lumberjack wanting to help you, to an unrecognizable creature filled with infinite rage. His knuckles white from his grip on the steering wheel. This didn’t strike you as the right time to talk about the night before.

Jacob was out of the truck almost before he came to a full stop, barking orders at those around. His brother was to be called immediately and all training drills for the day were to be canceled. This deputy person was to be everyone’s top priority.

They seemed important enough. You had heard the name thrown out yesterday when you first arrived at the center. You wondered about them and why Jacob would want them thrown into a cage. 

\-----

Joseph wasn’t what you had envisioned. You didn’t know exactly what you had expected but it wasn’t… that. The perfectly white shirt under the black vest, the rosary around his wrist, the glasses, and the hair. It just didn’t fit who you thought he would be.

You watched as he greeted Jacob, pressing their foreheads together. You listened as Joseph kneeled down and spoke to the deputy in the cage. You heard every horrifying word come out of that man’s mouth. How he had lost his wife and taken his own child’s life. All to prove his devotion to God. You felt ill as he talked, covering your mouth in disgust. But Jacob merely stood there, emotionless. 

Joseph was gone before you could process what you had just heard. You watched as Jacob reached into his pants and pulled out a small music box. With a few twists of the key he opened it. The deputy began shrieking and clawing at his ears. Then, as if a light switch had been flipped, he unleashed his rage upon the others in the cage. Snapping one’s neck and ripping out the throat of the other. The smell of blood rising in your nostrils made you sick. You ran to the nearest bush you could and heaved up the bile burning in your throat. 

This wasn’t the fluffy religious group Jacob had made it out to be. This was something much more sinister.

“What the fuck was that?!?” You followed Jacob up the stairs to the main entrance of the center, eyes full of tears.

“You’ll get used to it.”

“What?!? Get used to watching people butcher one another? Because I want no part in that!”

Jacob swung around to face you. “I told you, I cull the heard. I sacrifice the weak. It’s what I do. What part of that didn’t you understand?” His gaze stabbed into you like a thousand tiny daggers. 

“I guess the part where your brother murdered his own child and you just stood back and watched as someone mauled two other human beings. That part. That’s the part I don’t understand!” You clutched at your chest as the tightness began to spread. “You said you were bringing me here to show me how to be strong, not to become an accessory to murder! I want- I want to go home- I want to go home now!” You began to hyperventilate, struggling to catch a breath of the oxygen you needed so much.

“You’re just having another panic attack,” Jacob reached for you but you recoiled in disgust.

“Don’t you dare touch me!” You saw the slice of pain that crossed his face. “Give me the keys to your truck.”

“You know I’m not gonna do-”

“Give me the fucking keys to your truck!” You screamed out, your outstretched hand trembling in front of you.

Jacob only stared at you in disbelief. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had raised their voice at him. He stepped in front of you, towering over. He reached down into his pocket and begrudgingly slammed the keys into your hand.

“You’ll be back.” He snarled out.

“Don’t hold your breath.”

\-----

It wasn’t the same anymore.

Your quiet little piece of heaven was tainted.

You didn’t feel safe there anymore. But you had nowhere else to go. It was the first time you cursed yourself for not building up any meaningful relationships with the locals. Your need for isolation had done you well until that oversized jackass had come along and ruined everything. Now, you’d give anything to have someone to talk to. Somewhere else to go.

\-----

Trying to sleep was a joke. Every time you closed your eyes you saw it. The hollow, empty look in the deputy’s eyes as he slaughtered those people. The smell of iron lingered in your nose making your stomach turn. 

You didn’t even bother turning the light on as you made your way to the cabinet, your fingers finding the last bottle of whiskey easily. You ripped the cap off throwing it across the room. It burned on the way down. 

You gazed out your window trying to forget everything. Telling yourself tho forget your feelings for Jacob. They had come on quickly and you were determined for them to fuck off just as fast. The man was crazy and you wanted no part of the Holy War he was raging. You prayed that everything could just go back to how it was before. Even though, you knew that was impossible. 

The clouds silently moved above you exposing the bright half-moon hanging in the sky. In the light of the moon, you thought you saw some movement in the woods outside the window, but before you could tell for sure, you heard the window breaking and felt a burning pain in your shoulder. You fell to the floor in a heap. You struggled to apply pressure to the wound but tiny butterflies and stars began to cloud your vision. And you suddenly felt light as air. You heard your door being kicked in and footsteps approaching you.

And then, nothing.


	6. Chapter 6

It had been three days since you’d left and Jacob had continued on as if nothing had happened. But inside he was a complete wreck, damning himself for letting you leave like that, for not being fully transparent with you, for bringing you into all of this. Most of all, damning himself for how he felt about you. His pride kept him from going to you and helping you see that this was your path. You were meant to be at his side as you walked through Eden’s Gate together.

He prayed, to whatever God was listening, for you to see your purpose. For you to come back to him. 

“Jacob, sir. There’s something you need to see,” the radio on his desk sprang to life, “A broadcast on the TV.”

What was it now? Another one of John’s stupid infomercials?

Jacob switched on the small TV in his office expecting to see his baby brother’s face, but instead, he saw yours. Red and swollen from too much crying. The boy, Wheaty, stood behind you holding your head up by your hair. Your body was firmly tied to the chair. 

A dark figure began to enter the frame. Jacob squinted his eyes trying to make out a face. 

“We have your little… pet.” The voice was deep and gruff. 

Jacob felt his blood begin to boil as he watched the blurry figure came into focus. Eli.

“I knew she was lying about you. Your trail ended at her place.” He looked directly at the camera speaking to Jacob as if he were there in the same room. “We had people on her cabin that night. Just watching. And waiting.”

He moved to your side taking your hair from Wheaty’s hand into his own. With one swift movement, he ripped your head back causing you to yelp out in pain.

Jacob’s fist clenched tightly, nails digging into the soles of his palms and drawing blood. Small drops falling to the floor below.  
“We even saw the little fun you two got into the other night. I thought John was the only one who fucked the cult members.” Eli let loose a thunderous laugh. 

Wheaty just looked away. Too ashamed to relish in the fun like Eli was.

“Don’t you worry though,” Eli pointed to the camera, “We are gonna take mighty fine care of your little lady friend here.” He placed his hand over your throat and squeezed. “Now, why don’t you be a good girl and beg for your life.”

Your eyes shot open and you craned your neck to look at Eli. Eyes full of hellfire and wrath. You mustered up what little saliva you could and spat into his face. 

“Fuck you!” you screamed out as you struggled against your restraints.

Eli stumbled back a few steps and wiped your spit from his chin. He cocked his hand back and slapped you across the face.

“Guess we’re gonna have to teach your little bitch some manners, eh?” An evil smile spread across his lips before the broadcast when black, only to begin again on an endless loop. 

The Whitetail Militia wanted to be sure Jacob saw it.

Jacob roared as he ripped the TV from its place and threw it across the room, watching as it smashed into a million pieces. He reached for the radio on his desk and screamed into it.

“Find her! I don’t care what it takes. Fucking find her!!”

\-----

You had no idea how long you had been locked in the tiny room you were confined to. With no clock or windows, time felt like it stood still. Your hands were pulled over your head and tied to the legs of the cot, your ankles were so tightly bound that you had lost feeling in your toes. Your shoulder had been sloppily cleaned and bandaged. It raged with pain every time you moved or tried to adjust your position. 

Your mind was finally cleared of whatever it was they had used to knock you out with. The glistening stars and butterflies were now just a distant memory. The events of that night were all a foggy mess, blurring together with whatever it was that you had hallucinated, but the vision of the girl in white dress haunted you. She had been there the whole time that you were floating around wherever you had gone, cautiously watching and lingering around you. She hadn’t spoken to you but you had felt her watching with curiosity. Out of the haze of memories you had, she felt… real, tangible, almost as if she didn’t quite fit with where you had floated away to.

You heard the lock on your door disengage and watched as you sadistic captors walked in. Eli walked with confidence as Wheaty meekly followed behind him. The air in the room hung heavy as Eli entered the meager room you were being held in. He kneeled down next to your cot, eyeing you like a predator stalking its prey.

“Ready to tell me what I want to know, yet?” His eyes surveyed your face awaiting your response. 

“I’ve already told you! I don’t know anything! I had known Jacob for a whole day when you kidnapped me,” you huffed out in frustration. You were telling the truth after all. What did Eli want with you? You couldn’t give him the information that he wanted so desperately. You didn’t even have the slightest clue that anything was amiss in the county until the night Jacob had found your cabin.

“What if she’s telling the truth? What if she doesn’t know anything?” Wheaty’s voice was shaky, a sliver of fear running in tandem with his words. He was just a boy, afterall. He had lost his innocence to violence long ago. He could hardly stand to look at you in your current state.

“Then she’s useless.” Eli stood from his position next to you. “We’ll pump her full of Bliss and dump her in the Henbane. Let her become one of Faith’s angels.”

Your eyes darted to Eli.

Faith.

Bliss. 

The wheels began to turn in your head. Faith, that was Jacob’s sister, right? And The Bliss, that was the drug he had talked about? The one that Faith had power over and could use for control. 

The hair on the back of your neck began to tingle. You may have just found your out.

\-----

Eli had left the room in defeat leaving only you and the boy behind. He cowered in the corner too afraid to even glance at you. If you were going to go through with this crazy plan, you knew it had to be now.

“Wheaty, right?” You looked over to him with a softness in your eyes.

He startled at the sound of your voice, gripping his weapon a little closer. 

“How old are you?” you tried to feign as much sincerity as you could. Wheaty shifted his weight to his other foot and sighed.

“I’m seventeen, ma’am.”

“Hmm, that makes me double your age then,” you smiled slightly adjusting your hands. A sharp pain raged through your shoulder and you inhaled sharply. Wheaty instinctively took a step towards you but stopped when he realized what he was doing. You were his enemy, after all.

“Wheaty,” you began, “I’m in so much pain. Do you have any Bliss on you?” 

Wheaty looked at you deep in contemplation.

“And if I do?”

“You could give a dead woman walking a moment of peace. Eli said it himself, your gonna pump me full of it and dump me anyway.” The fake tears began to fall from your eyes. You knew that if this didn’t work, you were as good as dead. 

Wheaty looked down at you and then towards the door to the room. He hated to see anyone in pain and what harm would it do? Eli wouldn’t be back for hours and no one would know.

He fumbled in his pocket and produced a small vile that contained a green powder. He moved cautiously to your side. 

Even if you could have, you didn’t think you could bring yourself to hurt the kid. He was just a baby. 

He poured a small amount of the powder into his hand and gently blew it towards your face.

“Thank you.” You whispered out as you breathed in deeply. As the glittering stars and butterflies began to cloud your vision and the pain slipped from your body, you prayed that this worked.

\-----

You couldn’t wipe the smile from your face as you tenderly stepped forward. The haze around you was thick and you could only see a few feet in front of you, but you pushed on. 

Inside, you felt every positive emotion at all once. The Bliss firmly taking it’s hold over you. You watched around you as animals seemingly materialized in front of you, only to poof into green powder at your slightest touch. The soft grass tickled at your feet as you wound your way through the trees that surrounded you. 

You could lose yourself here. 

All of your cares and worries seemed to melt away being in this place. There wasn’t anyone else around but you felt so at peace. The warmth on your skin felt like heaven compared to where you came from. Flashes of your abduction started to pour through your mind. The pain you felt rampaging through your shoulder and then the fear. The horror as you felt the rumble of footsteps towards you.

You quickly snapped to attention. Even with all the chemicals swirling in your brain telling you to just let go, you fought through it. This was your only chance at this and you had to concentrate.

“Faith,” you whispered out, “Faith, if you’re here, I need your help.” There was a low rustle of a breeze that made the forest around you sway in remarkable beauty. As you looked all around you at this enchanting place, you heard a soft giggle from behind you. You turned just in time to see the young woman in the white dress step out from behind a tree. She looked as if she were floating as she made her way to you. There was a softness to her eyes that made you feel so warm and safe inside. She took your hand in hers.

“Serena! There you are!” The woman looked elated to see you. 

“How- how do you know my name?” You couldn’t hide the confusion on your face even as the feelings of euphoria surged through you.

“Oh, come now! Your reputation precedes you. Jacob speaks so highly…” she gave you a sly wink. 

“Jacob…” you breathed out his name with a smile on your face. You scrunched your eyes trying to focus, “I need him. I need him to help me.” Your senses overwhelmed by the drug running in your blood, you were fighting every second to keep some of your wits about you.

“I’ll say!” Faith giggled, releasing your hand and flitting up into the air on wings of green fog. “You’ve made quite the impression on my brother.” She reached for your hands once more and you felt weightless as she lifted you into the air. 

“I don’t- I don’t see how…” your words trailed off as you were distracted by the stars glowing in your eyes.

“He knows what he sees in you. I can see it too! That fire deep in your soul.” She placed her hand over your heart and your chest emitted a glowing light. “It’s here. Don’t ever lose it. Never let anyone take it from you. It’s so pure… and perfect.” Faith studied your face like she was trying to commit every last detail to memory. “You’re going to help him more than you know.” 

“I am?” You voice was light and airy. 

“You have to promise me something, though?” Faith rested her forehead to yours.

“Any- Anything.” You laughed gently.

She brushed her hand to your cheek, cupping it in an innocent embrace.

“Be gentle with him. We’ve all done things we aren’t proud of in the name of The Father.” 

You opened your eyes once more to the glowing radiance of her face. She gave you a small kiss to your forehead. And then, with small boop of her finger to your nose, you were being hurdled back into your body.

What had felt like minutes to you had been hours in the real world. Your entire body hurt as you prayed that Jacob got your message.


	7. Chapter 7

Jacob sat perched at his desk. He hadn’t slept much since you had left, even less after seeing the broadcast. His entire operation had come to a halt. There were no training sessions, no trials, nothing. His Chosen were out scouring the mountains for you. No one was allowed to rest until you were found. 

The radio on his desk crackled to life with his brother John’s voice.

“Any word yet?” genuine concern in his words.

“Nothing.” Jacob huffed out.

“Sorry to hear, brother.” There was a moment of silence. “The favor you asked me for, it’s done. The package is on it’s way to you now.”

“Thank you, John.” Jacob placed the radio down on his desk. 

He was ready to find you now more than ever. And his present to you would make your homecoming all the more sweet.

\-----

Hours of silence passed as Jacob stared into the empty chair across from him. The chair where you should be. Where he could protect you. He damned himself for bringing you into this whole mess. Your life of solitude seemed to have been working out before he showed up on your doorstep. And now, God only knows what you were being subjected to, all to hurt him. He would never forgive himself. 

“JACOB!” Faith’s voice shrieked from his radio followed by one of her distinct giggles. “I’ve seen your friend.”

Jacob pinched the bridge of his nose as he answered her. “Yes, Faith, we’ve all seen the broadcast.” Jacob slammed his radio down wishing he could wipe the image from his mind.

“No, silly! I just talked with her. She’s very pretty.” She let out another giggle.

“What are you getting at?!” He hated how cryptic his adopted sister could be. 

“She came to me. In the Bliss. She’s a strong one! No one has ever been able to call out to me like she did. Her light is so powerful! So pure. I can feel her when she shifts in and out of the Bliss.” Faith paused and her tone became serious. “Jacob, I know where she is.” 

Jacob’s knuckles began to turn white around the radio. 

“Tell me.” he growled out.

\-----

The days seemed to drag on for you. The dream of you white knight coming to rescue you was slowly fading away with each passing minute you remained trapped. Your feeble idea of trying to get a message to Jacob through the Bliss had failed. He would have come for you by now if it had worked. You were sure of it. 

You drifted back to that night. You hated yourself for how you had left things. Jacob had warned that there would be bloodshed in the name of the Father. That things were going to get worse before they got better. You had committed knowing the risks. 

The hurt in his eyes as he slammed the keys into your hand haunted you. You would give anything to go back to that night and change it. What you had witnessed that night was horrific, but Jacob had to have his reasons. 

The end would justify the means.

Somehow.

\-----

You had been given the freedom to roam in your tiny room. You were going stir crazy. They fed you enough to keep you alive but not much more. The guard posted at your door at all hours made escape impossible. You were only let out to use the bathroom and even then, the guard was in the room as you took care of your business. 

You paced the tiny room. You knew you needed to get out of there. The beatings were getting worse by the day. The longer you claimed ignorance the angrier Eli was becoming with you. Each strike harder than the last. And the ever present threat to overdose and dump you loomed over your head. It was only a matter of time before Eli discovered that you truly were useless to him. You didn’t have the answers he was so frantic to find.

The door handle began to turn. You stopped in place, your stomach turning to knots. Eli glided in with a smug look on his face. You quickly sat on the small cot in the corner. It was just easier if you didn’t fight it. When you fought back, he only hit you harder. 

Eli towered over you. You were a caged animal with no escape. And no one was coming to save you.

“Tell me what I want to know.” He commanded.

“I’ve told you a million times, I don’t know anything.” You held his intense gaze, refusing to back down. 

“Stop lying to me!” The back of his hand stung as it collided with your cheek. 

Your eyes were glued shut refusing to look at him. A strong hand gripped the hair at the back of your neck ripping back and forcing you to look him in the eyes. The loathing that swam in them chilled you to the bone.

“You have one more chance,” his words cut through you, “Tell me what I want to know.” His grip on you was vicious and unrelenting. You didn’t make a sound. 

Throwing your head back, he spoke, “You are of no use to me then. And you are a waste of my time.” He reached into his pocket, producing a vile of the green powder.

This was it. He was going to drug and dump you to become someone else's problem. Your eyes snapped closed as you awaited your fate. 

The first gunshot rang out through the bunker. And then came a storm of bullets. Chaos erupted and you heard people screaming. And bodies falling to the floor.

Eli vanished from the room, running head first into whatever was happening. You watched in silence as you saw the deputy pass by the still open door of your room clutching the LMG to his hip and spraying bullets everywhere. 

And then there was silence. 

Then screaming.

You gripped the door frame as you peaked around it. Wheaty had his gun pointed at the deputy as a woman screamed at them. Eli’s bloody corpse lay at their feet. You didn’t take any time to listen to what was being said. 

This was your chance.

You bolted from the room in the opposite direction down a hallway quickly finding a ladder to freedom. You didn’t hesitate clambering up the rungs.

\-----

It took every ounce of strength for Jacob not to go running into the Wolf’s Den. The hunters at his side could feel his irritation thick in the air. They had the place surrounded. No one was getting in or out without them knowing. Everyone watched holding their breath, waiting to see if the deputy’s conditioning had served its purpose. No one was to go in until Jacob gave the command. 

The steady dut-dut-dut-dut of the LMG silenced. Jacob held his breath, waiting. He prayed that his mission of taking out Eli had worked, but he also prayed that you were still alive after all this time. That Faith had been right about your location. 

Several tense moments passed, everyone looking to Jacob for orders, when a small hand appeared from the hatch of the den. Jacob raised his hand to steady all his men. They needed to know if the person crawling out of the massacre was friend or foe.

You heaved your frame off the last rung, collapsing into the cool grass. You struggled to your feet instantly and ran unsure of the direction or even where you were. You wanted as far away from that place as possible. 

You had taken a few large strides into the trees when you felt arms wrap around you. Your screams muffled by the clammy hand over your mouth. You were pushed back into a tree as the stranger pressed into you. Eye to eye with the man in a red ski mask, he brought his finger to his lips instructing you to be silent. You nodded your head in agreement. 

Relief washed over you as you recognized the man as one of Jacob’s Chosen. 

Your lumberjack had come for you after all.

Your eyes frantically searched around you. He had to be there. Somewhere. A flash of fiery red hair made your heart race. He stood silently, his hand still outstretched, but his eyes burned into you. You couldn’t hold back the tears, but mustered every ounce of strength to hold back the wailing that wanted to rip from your throat. 

Your body gave out on you and you saw the tunnel closing in on your vision. 

The last thing you remember is the night sky with the twinkle of the stars and moon. 

Then blackness.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This scene gets intense. The assault is talked about again here. Please take care of yourself if you feel triggered.

The sound of gunfire startled you awake. As the sleep drained from your eyes, you realized where you were and breathed a heavy sigh of relief. The words scrawled above the door in red: Train Hunt Kill Sacrifice, brought you a sense of calm. You were back at the veterans center. 

You cautiously made your way into the hallway. The familiar sight of Jacob’s office door just across from you. You gingerly knocked on the door. When no answer came you quietly opened it. The room was in complete shambles, Papers were strewn everywhere, a few pieces of broken furniture, and the shattered tv lay at your feet. But no Jacob.

You quietly descended the stairs leading to the entrance of the building. The front doors of the veterans center were wide open and down the way a bit you spotted him. He was standing in front of a row of four people on their knees, hands bound behind them. Each one of them wore the markings of a severe beating. 

A hunter flanked either side of Jacob with their weapons pointed to those on their knees. You watched Jacob’s animated movements as he spoke to them. You moved closer and heard as he condemned those in front of him for being a part of your abduction. His hands glided in the air as he spoke, you caught sight of his knuckles bloody and bruised. 

You cleared your throat alerting Jacob to your presence. He looked over his shoulder and there was fire burning in his eyes. But as he realized it was you behind him it drained away in an instant. He rushed to be by your side.

“You shouldn’t be seeing this.” His words filled with panic and rage. He placed himself in front of you trying to block you from seeing the people on their knees.

“What are you doing?” you asked flatly.

Jacob stared at you. “I’m doing what needs to be done.” He breathed out a heavy sigh.

You carefully looked around him to the four people begging for their lives. Three men and one woman. You didn’t recognize any of their faces. Their cries for help falling on deaf ears. You felt nothing for them.

You looked back to Jacob breathing a shaky breath. “They had something to do with what happened to me?” 

Jacob looked over his shoulder and back to you. 

“Yes, they were-”

“Kill them.” you interrupted Jacob. 

He looked at you wide-eyed in total disbelief. He opened his mouth to say something and then thought better of it. You gave him one last stern look before turning and heading back for the entrance.

You listened to his heavy footsteps and then pop, pop, pop, pop.

You didn’t turn or flinch at the sound.

\----- 

Jacob came to see you not long after. You were on the bed you had woken in with your knees clutched to your chest. Your eyes glued to the floor. He gently knocked on the door frame. As his eyes met yours he could see that something had changed in you. He knew the look all too well. He knew all too well what it felt like too. When the switch is finally flipped and nothing is left but darkness.

“Can I come in?” he asked softly.

“Yeah, sure.”

He sat down next to you, elbows to knees and wringing his hands.

“I’m sorry I got you mixed up in all this. None of this would have happened if I had just left you alone that night. You could still be happy in your own little world out there. And I-”

“Don’t be.” 

Jacob looked at you with confusion swirling in his eyes.

“How can I not be after what they did to you?”

“You brought me here to show me how strong I am.” You released your legs letting them fall over the side of the bed and turned to him. “I know what I am capable of now. How far I can be pushed.” You chewed your bottom lip for a moment in thought. “And those motherfuckers pushed too far with what they did to me in that place.” Your eyes began to burn with the fire of a thousand suns, “I see it now. I see why you’re doing the things you do. Those people don’t deserve mercy. We must cull the herd of all those weak, impotent people. Every. Last. One. Of. Them.”

Jacob was in awe of you once more. This sudden change in heart for you knocked him off his feet. There was that power he saw in you that first night. The Goddess. The phoenix rising from her own ashes. Jacob reached for your hand.

“I have something for you.”

Jacob laced his fingers into yours as he led you through the maze of the basement. You passed by numerous locked doors before stopping in front of the only door with an armed guard. Jacob waved his hand and the guard disappeared without a word. He turned to you, clutching your hands in his. 

“I did this for you.” He spoke quietly as he released your hands. He reached for the keys in his pocket and slowly opened the door. It was dark, save for one light hanging in the center of the room. Below the single light was a body tied to a chair, their face masked by a black hood over their head. You stepped inside as Jacob locked the door behind you.

The figure before you was tied down to the chair with more rope than ever could be necessary. Someone had made sure that escape wasn’t an option. Their clothing and skin were covered in blood. You assumed most of it to be their own. You stayed by the door as Jacob made his way to the center of the room. Placing his hand on the hood, he spoke again.

“I did this for you.” As he peeled away the hood, you felt sick. 

Tied to the chair before you sat your rapist. 

Your breath hitched at the sight and your pulse quickened till you felt your heart thumping away against your ribs. Your hands trembled at your side.

But no tears came.

You swallowed the lump in your throat and began to walk towards the light. The Monster was begging Jacob to let him go, that he had never done anything in his life to deserve what was happening to him. Jacob’s massive form towered over him in the dim light. As you slowly moved from behind Jacob, the Monster’s eyes fell to you.

“Y/N?!? What are you doing here? What is going on?” he spat out. 

It had been a lifetime since you had answered to that name. Such a foreign feeling. You laced your fingers back into Jacob’s once again. Confusion swept over the Monster’s face.

“What the fuck do you want from me?” The Monster screamed out.

“You’re here because you’re a disgusting waste of human life.” Jacob’s husky voice echoed through the barren room. “You’re here because of what you did to her.” He turned to look down at you huddled at his side.

The Monster scoffed, “I didn’t do anything to her that she didn’t want.”

“Not how she tells it.” Jacob snarled out. 

You couldn’t speak, only watch and grip Jacob’s hand tightly.

“The jury didn’t believe her, so why do you, old man?” The Monster grinned up at you. It was the same sickening grin he had that night. “She’s just mad that I didn’t do it sooner.”

Jacob stepped towards the Monster, but you caught him, pulling him back. He looked down at you, searching your eyes, and as if he had known you your whole life, he released your hand and went to stand by the door of the room. His arms crossed firmly over his chest and a small nod of encouragement to you.

You turned towards the Monster.

“You really don’t care what you did to me, do you?” There was a crack in your voice as the words poured forth.

The Monster rolled his eyes. “Why would I? It was just sex.”

“No! It wasn’t!” You screamed out causing him to flinch. Your eyes burned with rage, “You raped me.” A single tear rolled down your cheek. “You held me down, covered my screams, and you raped me!” 

“I gave you what you wanted.” He spat back. “You’re just mad I didn’t do it sooner.” 

Your hand clenched into a fist and you swung. As your knuckles collided with his face, a sharp pain shot up through your arm. You had never hit someone like that before. You hissed at the sting as you shook your hand out. You saw Jacob go to take a step to you but you put your good hand up stopping him. 

This was your fight 

“You will never feel guilty for what you did to me, will you?”

“Never.” The monster spoke through gritted teeth. 

You hand cocked back and you connected with his face again. You yelped out from the pain this time. Jacob was by your side in a moment, looking over your bloody and battered hand for any broken bones. Luckily, he didn’t find any. 

“She’s a liar, ya know?” The Monster spit the blood from his mouth. “And she’s nothing but a fucking tease.”

Jacob looked down at you still holding your injured hand in his. He gently wiped away the tear that had rolled down to your chin. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath trying to ground yourself. 

“Hey! Old man!” The Monster turned his attention to Jacob. You opened your eyes and you both looked at the Monster. “Hope you enjoy my sloppy seconds.”

With agility, you didn’t know you possessed, you ripped the pistol from the holster on Jacob’s thigh, pointed it at the center of the Monster’s chest and squeezed the trigger. The mist of blood the painted across your face didn’t elicit any reaction from you. You watched as the Monster slowly bled out in front of you. The light in his eyes drained away and you heard the rattle of each breath he took as his lung filled with blood. You watched as his life slowly slipped away.

And you felt nothing.

You lowered the pistol and offered it for Jacob to take back. He stared at you in disbelief before he holstered the pistol once more. He searched your face, waiting for some emotion to come out. Any emotion really. Sadness, anger, remorse, something, anything. But you were stoic. 

“I need a shower.” You said flatly.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me forever to get this up. Maybe it was something in my subconscious having to do with closure and all that. Or, I'm just a lazy writer lol.

Your legs dangled over the side of the bed as your fingers fidgeted with the hem of the oversized t-shirt Jacob has given you. Your eyes were fixated on the floor in front of you, a slight smile curling at the end of your lips. The soft knock at your door brought you from your haze.

“Come in,” you said.

The door slowly opened revealing Jacob in his t-shirt and flannel pajama bottoms fresh from his own shower. He sat down gently next to you on the bed. After a few moments of silence, he spoke.

“How are you doing?”

“Surprisingly,” you started, “I’m just fine.” The smile that had been tugging at the corners of your mouth unfurled into a bright grin. The silence hung heavy around you as Jacob stared down to the floor. You shook your head gently washing the smile from your face. 

“Look, down there, when he called me Y/N, it was-”

“I know everything.” Jacob interrupted.

You opened your mouth prepared to berate him with an onslaught of questions and closed it just as quickly. There was only one thing you needed to know.

“How?”

Jacob let out a slow controlled breath, “Same way I got that shit stain here. John. He’s a lawyer and has access to things I don’t. That night at the cabin, after you had passed out, I radioed him to get me everything he could. Including that sack of shit. All he needed was a name.”

He raised his eyes to you and a sense of dread began to suffocate you. You were ready for it. For all the questions and accusations you were sure he was going to throw at you. You swallowed hard, meeting his eyes. To your surprise, they weren’t filled with anger or rage, but a warmth you had never seen before. 

“I read the transcripts. From the trial.”

“I see.” You shifted uncomfortably on the bed, your eyes searching the room for anything else to focus on. Your mind raced with a million thoughts. “Was it always your plan to have me kill him?”

“No, no! I was always going to be the one who did it. You just got to it before I-” Jacob trailed off, ashamed. You placed your hand on his arm and moved closer to him.

“Thank you.”

“For what?” He asked dumbfounded, “Getting you mixed up in all this? For pushing you to do something you wouldn’t have otherwise? For-” 

You placed your finger to his lips to quiet him. 

“For helping me to find myself again.”

“But I didn’t even do-”

“They lie, ya know?” You said with a small smile.

Jacob looked at you in utter confusion. You could see him thinking over your words in bewilderment.

“Uh, who lies?”

“The people in movies,” you paused and looked to him thoughtfully, taking in a deep breath, “They always say that when someone finally gets their revenge, it doesn’t help, that they don’t feel any better. It’s a lie.” You grabbed his hand in a tight embrace. “I feel the best I have in years. Does that make me a bad person?” You chuckled uncomfortably trying to hide the euphoria inside of you.

“Oh God, no!” Jacob moved closer to you raising his hand to your cheek. You gently nuzzled into it. “It means that you’re free…”

“Stay with me tonight?” You looked at him with a deep longing behind your gaze. 

“Of course. Anything you need tonight.” Jacob looked at you with a gentle glint in his eyes.

“Anything?” Your lips quickly curled into a devious smile. 

In a flash, you pushed Jacob to the mattress, straddling his waist. 

“No whiskey tonight.” Your lips crashed against his in a flurry of emotions. You felt like you could devour him whole. 

“What are you-” 

You muffled his protest with a hand over his mouth.

“Shut up and fuck me, Jacob,” you breathed out, “Please.” Desperation dripped from your words.

Your soft pleading was all it took, Jacob’s eyes shifted, pupils were blown wide hiding any hint of blue. His strong hands were on you in an instant, flipping you to your back as he rutted against you. There were breathy pants and rough kisses. Your nails raked across his back as you ripped his shirt over his head. Every other article of clothing followed quickly behind.

“You are so fucking beautiful,” Jacob said taking in your naked form before him. His mouth latched onto your neck, kissing biting and sucking on any part he could, sure to leave marks behind. 

Your body was on fire like never before. You had never wanted someone so desperately. Every inch of you begged for his touch and he was more than happy to oblige, running his hands over every inch of exposed skin. 

Jacob’s eyes told you everything you could ever need to know about the man. Before every touch, every stroke of flesh, he looked to you for your permission without even uttering a word. An unspoken conversation was happening with every touch, with every kiss, and with every movement between the two of you. He made your comfort and pleasure the only thing that mattered at the moment, forgoing his needs to ensure you were comfortable with what was happening. 

Your moment of shared bliss felt like an eternity and a split second all at once. The feeling of his rough hands gripping your delicate skin, his soft, supple lips worshipping every part of you, your bodies seemed so in sync like you had been lovers for years. It was pure ecstasy. 

-

After, you clung tightly to one another in the rumpled mess of blankets on the bed, both trying to catch your breath. You’d forgotten how much work really went into being intimate with someone.

Jacob’s rough hand stroked your shoulder as you lay with your head on his chest. 

“I had almost forgotten how amazing that could be.” Your fingers swirling tiny circles on his chest. 

“Not disappointed with this old man’s performance, then?” He chuckled.

“You won’t be hearing any complaints from me.” You looked up to him, your eyes meeting and smiles forming across both your mouths. 

“Good.” He said with a small nod and a sly grin.

You sat up and turned yourself towards Jacob, looking him deep in the eyes.

“Thank you for saving me.” You reached up and cradled his face in your hand. 

“It was my fault you were in that hell hole in the first place.” Jacob shifted in place trying to hide the shame in his words.

“No, I don’t mean from that place.” You smiled, placing a gentle kiss on his lips. “I meant for saving me from the life I had before. It wasn’t much of one, to be honest. You said you wanted me to take my power back. And now,” you paused really thinking over your words, “I think I finally have. And I’m never gonna let anyone take it from me again.” 

Jacob’s eyes beamed at your words and you snuggled down against his chest once more. The breath of relief you let out was the first one since that awful night. You let your mind gently begin to drift off to sleep. 

You didn’t know what your future held now.

But you didn’t care. 

You were safe again.


End file.
